it has been a long, long time since i blogged at such a late time. =)
i suddenly realized it seem like it has been years since i last came to, once again, discover the fact that I CAN BE ALONE.

all by myself.
just myself.
yet, i'm not lonely at all.
this surely feels good! >.<

sometimes, being alone IS good.
[especially if you know so clearly you're loved, despite the fact that you're physically alone. =)]

i'm sorta bringing myself back to the time when i spent 2 solid months in bangkok alone.

and i wonder, why do i always emphasize on the fact that a particular person or group of people do not have enough time for me when i do not even consider or recognize the fact that i do not have any time for myself most of the time?

well, guess i'm really silly to a certain extent. =)

the tv's on, and some sorta taiwan drama is going on.
i'm not exactly watching the serial nor following the dialogues.
but i pretty much enjoy having the actors and actresses converse non-stop in the background. hee~

i think i ought to do a recap here. my life seemed to have been in a HUGE mess since a year ago...
Jan 08> my third relationship kinda hit rock bottom. betrayal went on underground and i naively deceived myself.
Feb 08> i survived the first month of "widow-hood".
Mar 08> had the worst birthday of my entire life and ended a miserable (or pathetic maybe?) relationship during my first trip to China (Haikou). met a few persons whom i thought appealed to me and went around literally crushing into EVERYONE and ANYONE. =(
Apr 08> "bumped" into someone special and started dating (very aggressively!) without even granting myself any room to rethink and digest my previous failed relationship.
May 08> attempted to put an abrupt end to singlehood and confusion by diving into a 4th relationship hastily. this, in turn, created tonnes of trouble that remain unresolved to date.
Jun 08 - Dec 08> created this whole BIG BIG BIG mess among three people including myself. stupidly thought i was the luckiest girl on earth to have been able to enjoy the best of both worlds. finally made up my mind after 9 long months of struggle and foolishly thought i totally crashed someone else's world by bringing trememdous hurts.
Jan 09> began a new chapter of my life with someone new. erm... not THAT new in fact. it's the one who appeared under the section "Apr 08" (refer to above para). =) did something crazy and yet so unforgettable together, that is, to make a TOTALLY random and ad-hoc trip to Hong Kong on the second day of the new year. seriously, i think i can never forget how a person did once go that far to give me what i want just because i want it. >.<

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it has been a tough journey during the past year.
i practically lived from day to day without knowing exactly what i was doing and what i wanted, and i seemed to have fell in and out of love a million times.

frankly speaking, i cant even exactly recall how i transited from an undergrad to a working adult!

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hopefully, things will be drastically different from now on.
failed relationships taught me alot. i guess i just didnt make it a point to act on lessons i have learnt through the hard way.

it really isnt that easy to find someone who loves you.

i promise i'll learn to treasure you a bit more with every passing day. >.<