came to work in a cab again.
today marks the first time i woke up late for work.
it was almost an hour later than usual.
woke up at 745am, and i find myself pretty much recharged by the time i woke up after having slept for about 8 hours i guess.

was seriously deprived of rest the past two nights due to outings and meetings with eric and gang.

this time round, it cost me more than 17 bucks to get my ass to yio chu kang.
cab fares are ridiculously high in singapore!

i thought she would be sending me to work, given that i was very unhappy last night over certain issues that i've been bringing to her attention and that we overslept and i ended up waking up too late for work.
but she didnt.
i was secretly expecting her to change while i put on some pathetic amount of powder on my unwashed face but all she delivered was another disappointment.
she thinks that i'll expect her to do that on ever single off-day if she were to ever do it for the first time.

i feel like shit.
IT SEEMS I'M NOTHING MORE THAN A PIECE OF SHIT TO HER.

why cant she simply spoil me?

i dont feel spoilt at all.

it must be such a wonderful feeling to be spoilt.

i am NOT happy.
dont feel like seeing her tonight.
didnt want to reply her sms nor talk to her on the phone when she called while i was on the cab.

the bottomline is, i should just learn from past experiences and choose someone whose love for me weighs way more than mine for her.

i DONT feel like i'm in love at all.
nobody is here to drown me in happiness and love.
nobody makes me feel good about myself.
this is not right.

I HATE THIS!

i cannot withstand the excitement from emotional roller coastal rides.

i can see myself giving up very soon.
i just know i will.