i do.
i do need protection like any other woman.

if only it is possible, i would like to one day live in a greenhouse and gradually lose all abilities to survive on my own because someone is here to shelter me from the awful environment out there.

.
.
.

i grew up fending for myself.
i'm getting sick of it. very sick i should say.

i want to seek shelter somewhere.
but where is the right place?
am i there yet?

it seems now that your arms are slowly losing grip of me.
as much as i try to hold on to your defective little finger, your hugs are not as tight as it used to be, at least to me. i no longer feel so protected.

.
.
.

as childish as it may be, it feels good to know that someone will stand up for you should a bully approach.

i was confronted last night.
an online message took me aback.

indirectly, someone questioned my qualification.

i never thought about the issue my entire life.
seldom am i not qualified for anything.

.
.
.

my "dreamy" nights are killing me.

i woke up after a near-10 hour sleep feeling drowsy and sleepy still.

worse of all, nightmares instill constant fear in my heart.

.
.
.

panic attacks are over.
i'm finally done with the big thing i've always wanted to do for you.

i hope it has been nice.
and i wish for it to remain memorable for a long time to come.