This year, i have a plain birthday. Plain as in bland as water. It is a peaceful one i spend with myself.

I'm alone at home, and am enjoying the serenity that fills the air after a heavy downpour. Sunshine after the rain? Too bad it's turning dark pretty fast though.

Dad gave me an ang bao. He prepared it in front of me. I said (sincerely and honestly and of cos i mean it!~) a $2 one will do. I'm already so old and shouldnt really be taking any money from them anymore. In fact, i've once heard someone say that birthdays are the times when we ought to give our parents (instead of the other way round) some treats ot prepare red packets for them, since they are the ones who made such days special.

Perhaps it's tue.

I'm gonna bring my parents to the JAAN @ Swissotel some day soon. Probably before i leave for Bangkok.

And so, in the end, dad gave me a $50 dollar ang bao. Quite a substantial amount. Actually, he never fails to give me a red packet every year no matter whether he has spare cash or not. He can be nice. It's a matter of whether he's under the control of alcohol.

I'm feeling hungry. Grrr. Ate 1/3 packet of instant noodles this noon before i went for tuition. Just couldnt finish it. Maybe it tastes too awful. I should go get my chilli crab cup noodles soon.

Last year's birthday was spent in the casino @ First World Hotel in Genting. I remember i felt quite bad about not having anyone do any countdown with me. Instead, Ju, EsT and FeL were there gambling enthusiastically via the digital roulette.

Looking back, it was quite hilarious.

I sorta miss Genting.

I'm not sure if i will ever embark on a holiday alone, be it somewhere as near as malaysia or as far as europe. What kind of emotions will follow me on the trip if i do? *PonderS*

It's peaceful. I'm not sure if it's really peace that i sense or i am no longer able to sense any emotions. I just feel peaceful and yet dead. Well, i suppose dead people feel peaceful too, so am i dead or dying?

Have been mapling during the past two nights. Mapled all the way till broad daylight. Last night, she asked, "I thought you dun like maple?"

I didnt answer the question. How am i supposed to? Or what i should say?

Dilemma.

It's really the circle of life. What goes around comes around.

I finally see a post on her blog. It's also on the dinner we had on sunday.

I've got absolutely no idea where she vents her emotions, or is it like the case of seeing no need to vent any kind of emotions for her?

I thought our interaction was pretty well last night. Comfortable she seems. At least i didn't push her.

To push or not to push? To love or not to love? To persist or not to persist?

If only we may control everything.