Last night was a terrible night.

Cried non-stop, like some kinda non-stop techno hits being played continuously in the discos.

I tried to search for a new direction in life, but felt that I was deserted by all.

I felt like an abandoned animal, left all alone to withstand the cruel destiny which lies ahead.

She says that one will eventually have to depend on oneself; she says I am too young to understand certain facts of life.

My friends have all got attached. Nobody will still have the time for me like in the past. I have to move on.

I need to have a new hobby or something. I need to be able to live on my own. I have to learn to build my own empire in which there is me and only myself.

I know that.

I don't like anything which goes on around me and in my life.

Once again, i detest living.

Cried myself to sleep last night, or i should say this morning. The last time I checked the clock, it was already 6a.m. Surprisingly, i woke up at 10 in the morning, after just 4 hours of sleep.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do upon waking up. I laid on bed, trying to imagine myelf lying in a coffin, where every corner and spot are in pitch-dark. I thought of how it would be to fall into deep sleep once and for all.

I tried to vent my frustration last night by hitting my fists against the walls. It didn't help. That is how she would let out her emotions. I tried to adopt that, but it just didn't work out for me.

Finally made the effort to get out of bed and step out of my room at 12 plus in the noon. Lazed around. Smoked. Stared into the television without knowing what I am viewing.

Life is meaningless.

I must be alone.