It was an exceptional downpour. The heavy rain was unusual and unexpected for the island have just been through a day of drizzle.

Raindrops fell hard from the sky. The atmosphere was melancholic.

She held onto her sleeve instead of her hand, not daring to be too liberal as they were in a familiar vicinity. She did not want her to board the oncoming bus and leave; she did not wish for her to leave feeling upset.

Not knowing what the outcome would be even if she abided and stayed, she used minimum effort to shake off her lover's plea and boarded the cold bus, without even turning to take another look at her like how she usually does.

She was overwhelmed with waves of regret the moment the bus departed from the bus stop where she was still standing. The thought of alighting at the next bus stop and running back to her loved one in the rain surfaced in her mind.

Then, a voice told her that was a stupid idea. She would only be thrown with remarks such as, "It didn't really matter", "I wasn't upset" or "Why did you have to get down the bus?" Past experiences signaled the possibilities of her not being too bothered by all that is happening between them. She did not want to be disappointed all over again; she did not want to be embarrassed and feel like a loser. She have never really lost any battles in life, but this time round, she clearly knows that she will completely lose the fight without possessing the slightest strength to retaliate.

She felt what the sky was feeling while in the cold and empty bus. Her heart was tearing and almost torn apart. Then, she reminded herself she is supposed to be stronger. Earlier on when she made offerings to her sister who have left her just recently, she prayed that she would bless her with the strength to move on with life and be a stronger person from then on. She have been reminding herself that she ought to be stronger during the past days when she was not with her. She knew she had to, partially for her sake. She did not want to be more of a burden than a lover.

It has been more than 72 hours since they last met. She have been running a fever during the period, while she was busy working and not with her. She would be sleeping when she starts her new day, while she would be preparing to head for bed while she plays her favourite computer game. 3 days would not be considered as a long period of time for most people, but it was difficult for her to cope with everything without seeing her loved one, especially so since she was ill. Perhaps it was all due to a mistake; it was a mistake for them to have been meeting almost every other day since the relationship grew. Now, she's finding it very hard to not feel her presence.

She finally made it back home admist the heavy rain. The first thing she did was to switch on the computer, log onto internet and check if she's online. She knew that all's fine as long as she's online. To her surprise, she was not available online.

Worried and regretful about what she have done minutes ago, she decided to lose once more and take the initiative to give her a ring.

She did not pick up the call.

She assumed that she was upset and did not want to receive any calls from her.

She hesitated for a minute, and eventually decided to have her bath and not do anything with the situation which she view as terribly bad.

Every little thing matters a whole lot to her, simply because the relationship matters too significantly. On the contrary, she seemed fine with anything which have taken place or is happening. She constantly feels that she doesn't really care. She always seem uninterested in her or things going on around her. She felt that was bad, she wanted someone who cares and is concerned.

After 15 minutes, she walked out of the bathroom and came into the room only to find out that she have called and also left her a message online. Her phone rang the next minute. It was her. She didn't know what to say. Somehow, she felt that nothing's more left to say since she will not be interested in any affairs of hers. Furthermore, she did not exactly knew how to express her thought then.

She feels disappointed. She have went ahead to arrange for them to have dinner together that night as she missed her too badly. She was all enthusiastic about the meeting after 3 days of not seeing her baby.

They met, she started telling her about what she have done the entire day. She still appeared uninterested.

She finally opened her mouth and started chatting and telling her something of hers. The first issue she talked about was that regarding her ex-girlfriend. She had expected her to express how much she have missed her, but she did not. She had expected her to be estatic about being able to meet her, but she was not.

She have somehow lost hope. She no longer dares to expect anything.

Yet, she loves her.