Dad's back.

Fortunately, i came back 5 mins before him.

He's calling me every night these days, asking what's the time i'll be back home. Hate that! Why the hell do i have to report after not living with the need to do so all these years! Bloody hell! Knew he's gonna have some stupid excuses to create trouble for me in one way or another if he comes back and don't see me at home, either alone or with ***, and that's why i made it a point to be back as early as i could, which is just 5 mins before him.

I'm gonna blow my top very, very soon. And things are gonna end up in a BIG BIG mess after that. I just know. Just CAN"T STAND IT ANY LONGER!!! I'm going crazy, always trying to make her feel comfortable and have things in her way and torture myself!!!

What the hell is the point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am i like a stray cat or something along that line? Why the hell am i always thrown aside? She wanted to come over. This has got to be the first time i'm rejecting her 'offer'. I seriously don't feel like seeing her and get so DAMN angry all over again. The thought of having that tiny little piece of wall for my VIEWING PLEASURE still makes my blood boil!!!

It doesn't really make a difference, does it? She'll be on the PC even if she's here anyway. And i'll still be thrown aside!!! When we're in MY room?! Yes! I'll be thrown aside with nothing to do while she's on the PC as she ALWAYS do! What can i say? Say i need the PC or something? I'm almost certain i'll hear something like "I'll borrow Esther's labtop" or "I'll only come over when you don't need the PC the next time" immediately. Then?! What am i supposed to do next?!

Already told myself more than a million times not to show up at her granny's place tonight, given that she did not do the shopping with my parents and I this noon and that she sounded so damn 委屈 when she agrred to go to the pet shop with my family this evening. Why am i so god damn cheap???!!! Why must i stupidly show up at the place and make myself so f**king angry all over again???!!! Spastic me!

ARGH!

I was sooo damn angry that i was practically grinding my teeth! What the hell?

It's as if i cannot live without her!!! And that's why i am constantly putting myself in agony! Just don't understand why i am always choosing to do things against my will just to ensure she's not going against hers! What the hell is wrong with me?!

I hate this f***ked up anger brewing in me!