As a continuation to the bad bad bad night, i can't get to sleep.

Vexed.

Too many issues to think bout. Yet, i don't exactly know what's running through my mind now.

Money is the ultimate issue i have to crack my brain over.

Loans and loans and loans. I'm bearing so many loans that i definitely have a negative asset.

And most of the loan amount ought to be borne by that stupid man in actual fact. It's just that i was made the one to ask for the loans from people.

I'm too tired to even say 'bloddy shit' or something in a pissed off manner.

So tired of the house and the people in it.

Why is it me?

Why must it be me?

What kinda life is mine? I really don't understand what i have done to deserve this. Guess i'm gonna wallow in self-pity again sooner or later.

Wanted dear dear to come over. But it's time to scrimp and save so the midnight cab-fare from her place to mine is a 'no no'. It's only a miserable 7 bucks or so, but i cannot get what i want. My god! What the hell is that, man!?

I think i'm wildful. To a certain extent, i am. Dear dear thinks so too.

I must get what i want. Always. Dear dear said i'm always doing things the way i deem as right, regardless of whether the ways are indeed correct or not.

Can't make myself believe that i'm actually having a quiz 4 hours later. I didn't finish studying for the test anyway. Father came asking for 2.5K when i have just decided to revise my work and completed one pathetic chapter.

Are things actually going to get better? I can't help but keep asking. If they are not, what's the point of remaining as part of this disgusting family? Is there a point?

It's not as if i'm gonna discard my family during bad times. But, haven't i been giving enough of what i have for this pathetic, so-called 'family'? Haven't I? In terms of money and everything else.

Sick. At times, i feel like puking in disgust when i think of the so-called 'family'. Worse still, i feel like dying when i think of the so-called 'father'.

May i know what is it that a father ought to do? Ask me for $$$?

The house is 'suffocating'. The fact that the old man is now sleeping soundly next door makes my blodd boil. I can't wait to step out of the house once dawn arrives. I can't seem to be able to breathe normally. Feel as if i'm gasping for air. Someone pls kill me.

People, look at me, and pls realize how fortunate you guys are if you're not leading a life like mine.