I don't know when will i really piss dear dear off with my tantrums. She have made it clear from the start that she hates it when people throw tantrums and vent frustrations, in a way whereby she is made the target.

And i have always known that she is a 'computer person'. Yet, the amount of time and energy she devotes to mapling and her computer is making me feel not-too-good.

Mentioned previously that i don't wanna view anyone as my competitor in this relationship, simply because there was no point in me doing that.

Now, i somehow feel that dear dear's com is my competitor in a way. I have to share my loved one with the damn machine.

What the hell!

Spent 5 hours at dear dear's place today. She spent less than 1% of the 5 hours looking at me, and about 99+% of the duration facing the computer.

I was so upset...

Really don't want to, once again, start storming out of the house like how i did to *** previously. I don't want to be shouting, screaming, scolding or even walking away when i'm upset or pissed. Really wouldn't want that to be the case. =sobs= So, the only other alternative available to me for venting my frustrations would be to cry and let tears carry the negative emotions away from me.

Dear dear said I'm fragile because of that.

I don't like that.

So afraid that what I have done onto others will be done onto me this time round. *** used to cry a lot and I get extremely pissed off whenever she tear. I mean, I sensed aches in my heart when she cried for the first, second and third time. Subsequently, it somehow became a chore to have to pass her tissue papers when she sobs.

Is dear dear gonna play my role this time round?

Was thinking if we are really that incompatible. Dear dear said we're still in the process of adjusting to the different lifestyles of each other.

Seems like unforeseen and obviously undesirable situations have been arising.

Why?

Today is not a good day as compared to yesterday and the day before yesterday. Didn't feel happy at all. Not even for a second.