Lazy Friday afternoon.

Weekend has yet to arrive for most people, but mine have. I'm just sooo glad that my timetable doesn't require me to be in the ulu Boon Lay on Fridays.

My big baby just left a couple of mins ago. And i'm already starting to miss her. . .

I'm a bad influence, she claimed, always trying to tempt her into canceling her tuition sessions. She didn't succumb to the temptations anyway. Only postponed the sessions. But that's good enough, seriously. She gave me at least another precious hour of hers earlier.

Been studying alot during the past week, except for yesterday night. It was meant to be a rest day. Gotta work on assignments and tutorials starting from tonight after finishing my one and only session at 9pm. Argh...

It's now the lunar seventh month. Made offerings last night, at about 12 midnight. Throughout the past 21 years of my life, i've never liked to make offerings, but i did yesterday. That's the first time i'm somehow involved in the ritual rites. And from this year onwards, i'll make it a point to prepare for the Ghost Festival every year. I have to. But i wish i don't have to.

Sadness filled my entire mind once again, after having been though such a long period of happy moments the big baby has brought into my life.

I was sad. Felt sooo sad when the fact that Gorgeous Cindy has left surfaced in my mind once again.

Went back home to my big baby. Hugged her so tightly. I needed comfort, and i want it to be from her and no one else. Wish she could be the one who shelters me from all kinda unhappiness i can ever have in my life.

Anyway, i've been bombing her with lotsa questions. She claims that i think a lot, and most probably, toooo much. But, i'd rather ask than keep guessing. That spoils things most of the time. Doesn't it?

Had a good night's sleep. Surprisingly, that pig woke up before me this morning. I'm sure i dreamt of her last night, so when i opened my eyes and found her right in front of me, i was like THISSS shocked! Can't really remember what the dream was about, but it was a nice and sweet one. That i'm sure.

Made breakfast. Bought ham, cheese and sausages from Cold Storage last night while i was at Compass Point. Had intended to prepare sandwiches but woke up to realize that i have forgotten to buy bread as well. So, that pig settled for some oily and fattening stuffs instead.

Sorry...Ruined your dieting plan by letting you start off a new day with such oily food... . . .

Went back to sleep after she left for tuition at 8.45am.

ZzzZzzZzzZzz

A call from her woke me up at 11.30 in the late morning. It's always nice when i get awakened by calls from her. If it were somebody else except my two pals, i seriously can't imagine what kinda words would come out of my mouth! Well, i'm sometimes quite alright with being awakened by calls though. Just sometimes...

Her exs have never loved her this much, she answered, when i raised questions AGAIN. But, i don't really sense that she's that happy when she's with me. At times, i even start questioning myself as to whether she loves me. I don't know what's wrong with me. Although i feel 'safe' whenever i'm with her, but those doubts which i have inside somehow depicts that i lack a 'sense of security'. Isn't feeling 'safe' = having a 'sense of security'? If so, then why am i experiencing contradicting feelings?

Why?

But again, i love her so. Therefore, i should just cast aside certain uncertainties which do nothing but harms the relationship and simply focus on loving her.

Skip this if you're already feeling disgusted, folks>>>
...
.....
.......
.........
...........
I so like to sayang you like a big baby, my dear. . .